God knows better

On Tuesday night I wrote an e-mail to my lecturer requesting a conversion of the course I am doing from credit to audit. That was the first time that I had ever made such an application in the course of my studies in the Bible College. I decided to do this as I felt that I wouldn't be able to really complete the assignments well and that I had some important ministry and family considerations. I was concerned that ministry would be affected if I spent the time doing the assignments. There were several family matters that I needed to look into as well including getting a flat in a central area. I didn't like the idea of converting the course into audit as it would mean that i would need to retake the subject again next time. But I thought perhaps God was teaching me a lesson about letting go.

On Wednesday I received a reply e-mail from my lecturer. He told me that it was already too late for me to apply for the conversion. If I wanted to I should have done it during the two weeks of lectures some time ago. He told me that if I didn't submit my assignments he would give me F as my grade and this would bring down my overall grade in my transcript. Later on I also learned that this F would not be able to be erased completely from my transcript ever. Now, the big problem was that the due date of the assignments was the next day (Thursday). This was already an extended date for me. And I had 5 assignments to submit having done around halfway for 1 assignment. The gravity of the situation left me with no choice but to apply for an urgent leave for Thursday and Saturday (I work every Saturday) and for a day off next Monday to complete my assignments. Thank God that my lecturer gave me another extension until Monday. After that 3% of my marks would be deducted per day.

On Thursday, I almost completed 2 assignments. I hope to complete them fully by today. Today, I also hope to complete another 1 assignment, make continual progress in another 1 assignment and started to work on my final assignment, a research paper requiring at least 20 sources.

I thought perhaps God wanted to teach me a lesson about letting go. But God knows better than me. It seems that the lesson that God wants to teach and remind me instead is about how He knows better how much I can be stretched. Just when I thought I couldn't stretch further God proved me wrong. I am surprised that I was able to almost complete 2 assignments on Thursday. I am surprised that I have some good momentum to finish the remaining of the assignments. Come Monday, it will be an achievement to complete 4-5 assignments within a stretch of several days.

I do not know what my grade will be but I am very sure it will not be F. I also have the confidence that the ministry and the family matters at hand will not receive F as a grade as well. This is as my God knows better.